Phyllis Hefner a NOVA care worker spoke on November 3, at Bucks for the Human rights forum program “Breaking the silence, Daring to speak: Words make one more than a victim”. This event discussed people-mainly women who have been victimized by sexual abuse.

The beginning of this program Dr. Christopher Bursk faculty adviser to the Human Rights Club, who organized the forums, and called all the speakers. Put paper leaves and lollypops on each seat and had the audience write on each leaf, so they would be able to sound their voices.

These leaves will be placed on the tree of words, write on each one of them an expression of concern for someone you know or for yourself, so these voices will no longer be silenced, by violence, abuse, racism, poverty, homophobia, illiteracy, or fear. The lollipops are to represent a child’s innocence,” said Bursk.

Hefner created an organization to help woman who have been a victim of sexual abuse and other crimes. It’s a 10-14 week program to help women to deal with what has happened to them. It helps women learn to begin to appreciate them selves once more. Hefner also developed a 24-hour hotline if you are embarrassed, but need to speak to someone.

Hefner showed a movie called “The healing years”, directed by Kathy Barbini. This tape showed that there are people out there who can overcome this dilemma, and this is a stepping stone in which to help create a better life for yourself.

One of the women in this film was a former Miss America; Marilyn Van Derbur. Van Derbur was raped by her father. She felt that she was dirty, a slut if she told anybody about what had happened to her. At first she just felt this is how father’s portrayed their love and that her father really loved her. She went to therapy when she was 40-years-old, due to the fact that she had a nervous break down. It took her 53 years to realize that it was not her fault and that she did not bring this upon herself.

Another woman Barbara Hamilton has had sexual abuse in her family for three generations. She talked about how in 1929 her father would join her in bed when she was 9-years-old. Hamilton was afraid to tell for she thought her mother would abandon the family, and not love her anymore. In 1976 she finally went to therapy and told them that her father did strange things to her. While leaving home from this meeting, she heard on the radio a song called “Leave me alone, why don’t you leave me alone,” Hamilton.

He never got the point.

Later on Hamilton found out when her daughter had become an adult, that her grandfather Barbara Hamilton’s father had sexually abused her as well. Around this time she also found out that her son had been abused by her brother.

There is a rising concern that sexual abuse is a continuing cycle in families. In order to make sure this does not happen, people need to seek help if they feel that they might be turning into a predator, so as not to spread this disease to others.

“98% of cocaine users were once or are still being sexually abused,” said Phyllis Hefner.

Males are just now beginning to speak out about sexual abuse hopefully in the next five years there will be an equal ration of men and women who speak out about these acts.

Janice Mirikitani was another speaker on the video. Mirikitani talked about how her mother remarried when Janice was five years old. Her family moved from Chicago to California to live on a farm. Mirikitani talked about how her step-father would molest her in the barn, with fleas crawling all over her body. After awhile she became numb. Her belief system was shattered. This abuse went on for 11 years.

Mirikitani is now a public speaker, and the president of Gilde Memorial Church in San Francisco. She helps people who were once in a similar situation dealing with sexual abuse. She let’s them know that there is hope in the world.

There are many signs that you can pick up on to let you know someone is being sexually abused.

Their behavior begins to change. 80 percent of people whom have been sexually abused feel fear, anger, confused, isolated, and ashamed. If they soon become afraid to go to the bathroom alone find out why. Many sexual acts have occurred in bathrooms.

Be aware of their emotions. They might show that they are afraid or ashamed. Pictures can also be detection. If they are drawing inappropriate pictures of sexual acts, get to the bottom of the situation, do not let the matter prolong.

“Many come in broken and lost. But after a while they finally have a sense that they can be free and the memory doesn’t have to control you,” said Hefner.

This is an obstacle that can be completed. It can also let you be able to go out and voice your story to others. However, in order to help others, you must first help yourself.

Students who attended the forum wrote kind statements on the leaves with expressions of concern for themselves, and others who have had their voices silenced.

‘Mark was never able to get over his parents divorce, his voice was silenced.’

‘I was raped and my friend was raped too.’

‘Ram