There was a great deal of
confusion on campus
Thursday, March 27, when
green smoke started pouring
out of the second floor windows
in Founder’s Hall.
Apparently, when performing
an experiment involving
the mixing of two highly dangerous
chemicals, which
included a radioactive isotope,
a beaker exploded.
Students were evacuated
from Founder’s and soon
after, emergency response
and HAZMAT teams showed
up to clean and sterilize the
building. No students were
harmed, but all were taken to
the nearest hospital for evaluation.
So far, three students
have been contaminated and
are under quarantine until a
further assessment can be
made.
The students did not know
how dangerous the chemicals
they were working with really
were, according to Emily
Job, 21, biology major. Job
said, “I’m really scared, I
mean, I was right there when
the beaker just exploded. We
had no clue what to do.
Everyone was ready to jump
out the window.”
Professor Aaron Caves,
who was responsible for the
chemicals being brought on
to Bucks’ campus, was arrested
for illegal activity and terroristic
behavior.
When interviewed, Caves
said, “I was just trying to
show my students the raw
side of chemistry, the side
that most of them will never
get to see. I want them to see
just what they are up against
in the ongoing struggle the
United States is having with
illegal nuclear weapons systems.
The Koreans are up to
something I tell you!”
As police struggled to push
Caves into the back of a
squad car, he could be heard
ranting about something
involving the return of the
Soviet Union. He was taken
to Waverly Hills Psychiatric
Hospital for further evaluation.
John Captcha, a member of
the HAZMAT response team
that was dispatched to control
the situation said, “I
don’t know what this loon
was thinking letting kids play
around with radioactive
material. He could have compromised
the whole campus
and everyone in it for God’s
sake! I heard that the CIA is
now involved though so there
might be more to the story
than we originally thought.”
Further investigation into
Caves’ background is under
way.
Any student who
was in the building
any time
before 2:30 p.m.
on March 27 is
asked to go to the
nearest medical
facility to be evaluated
for radioactive
exposure.