Bucks Student Services last
Wednesday screened the short
film “Eternal High,” a dramatic
portrayal of teen suicide and a critique
of of society’s taboos regarding
depression.
Bryce Mackie was 17 when he
directed and acted in the short autobiographical
film. In it, he fictionally
reproduces the thoughts
and actions of his very real attempt
at suicide.
The film shows him filling a
glass of water and going to his
room where he reaches for the
pills he has hidden under his pillow.
Then, Mackie’s thoughts
grow dark as he wrestles with
himself over whether his life is
worth continuing.
“I’m a pretty mellow guy,” he
says, “it just pisses me off that I
can’t see a point to everyday life.”
Between each of his dark ruminations,
Mackie swallows a pill,
until both he and the pills are
gone.
As a postscript to the movie,
Mackie filmed a talk he gave at
his school about the problems of
depression and how it can lead to
suicide.
“You get so down that it actually
feels good to hurt yourself,” he
says.
According to the U.S. Centers
For Disease Control, suicide is the
third leading cause of death in
people aged 10-24, killing approximately
4,500 people in this
age group each year, and causing
almost 150,000 of them to seek
medical treatment for self-inflicted
wounds related to depression.
In his talk, Mackie goes on to
explain how societal taboos
caused him to misunderstand what
was actually happening to him,
and that these taboos led to anxiety
that drove him away from the
people who could help him beat
the disease.
“It’s a downward spiral,” he
says, “but getting help is an upward
spiral.”
Calling recovery an “upward
spiral” is an interesting choice of
words; Mackie credits the antidepressant
Celexa for his return to a
normal life, but he also points out
that the medicine that makes him
well is also taboo among some.
“Medicine is dumb. It’s for
weakness,” he mocks.
“But if the choice is between
taking a little pill and killing yourself,
take the pill.”
Speaking about the issues of depression
and treatment, Mackie
comes to a simple conclusion
about the otherwise complicated
problem, saying, “It is okay to be
weak.”