Bad Boys, “Good Boys”

Bradley Hare, Centurion Staff

I don’t think grounding this movie will be enough.

Growing old is a pain; failing health, more bills to pay, worrying about parents kicking you out, and finding love. As rewarding as overcoming these tribulations are, having a plan and sticking to it will always be of help; something this movie clearly didn’t have.

The film centers around the 12-year-old Max entering 6th grade, alongside going through puberty and going through puberty, mostly though, getting sexual urges. He gets invited to a kissing party and wants to learn how to kiss. With his two best friends in “The Bean Bag Boys” group, Thor and Lucas, they use a drone Lucas’s father owns that he isn’t allowed to use to try and spy on the neighbor girl kissing a boy. However, they accidentally break the drone and need to buy a new one before his dad finds out.

First off, if you want to see this movie, be prepared for a lot of scenes that go absolutely nowhere and feel pointless. There are a lot of good ideas here, but not only are they never given a proper conclusion, they really don’t have time to do anything with the idea.

The most an idea really gets flushed out is the kids using the laptop to look up how to kiss, but quickly turns it into them looking at actual porn. It goes by way too quickly, and the fact that the kids, who weren’t supposed to be dumb, just naive, just skipped typing into the search engine “how to kiss” and just went straight to looking for “boobies” or “porn”, just adds to the suspension of disbelief snapping. It happens too fast with even the movie pointing out the obvious path, and it feels just like a bra of a woman trying to seduce a man; padding.

That right there was a sex joke. I’m telling you this to not only tell you about how this film likes to pad out scenes and even give you an example by padding this sentence out, but also to move into the next complaint I have with this film; it’s mostly just sex jokes.

Now, there are jokes with older actors, like adults or even teenagers being around, and they do have some hits like the paintball gun scene and the slacking cop, but more often than not, there are only two types of jokes this film has to offer; kids swearing and trying to act mature, and the boys not knowing about sex. Considering the length of this movie being an hour and a half, the lack of variety in these jokes shows before the first act ends.

That brings it back to the main kids themselves, and they are either horrible, like Thor, annoying, like Lucas, or forgettable, like Max.

Thor’s attempts at being cool come at the cost of having the audience view him as not caring about his friends.

Lucas and his moral high ground gets too predictable with the only thing making him unique, the fact his parents are getting divorced, being shoved aside for more cheap jokes, makes me roll my eyes whenever he is about to speak, knowing just what he is scared or concerned about.

Finally, Max’s story doesn’t even come to a complete close, even after everything is seemingly said and done. The only one that feels like he had some resemblance of growth was Thor, and that just makes the movie feel pointless.

Overall, the movie is just a boring, cliche-filled comedy that thinks it is making us laugh, but failing on nearly every front. Despite the fact it may have a snicker every once in a while, this broken plot and unlikable character arcs are still worthless in the end. Put this one in time out and lock the door behind you when you leave; no one will blame you.

Overall Score: 2/10