What’s the first thing you notice about a potential date?
Is it their muscles, their eyes or perhaps a curling smile and dimples?
For me, looks and personality are second and third to the first thing I
notice about the opposite gender – a wedding ring.
It never used to be like this of course. When I was in my late-teens and
early-20s, this wasn’t a concern for me. Not many of my peers were married.
Now that I am 25, it’s a whole new ballgame.
I’m out at the local pub last weekend and I come across a ring-free hand
that belongs to a handsome guy. We introduce ourselves and converse
lightly, looking for topics of mutual interest.
But an hour or so into talking, I ask the inevitable question, “So, do you
have a girlfriend?”
He did. Too bad for me, but I only expect that answer and a girl enjoys
conversation with an attractive guy more than being hit on by the odd
duck at the bar anyway.
But this is where one of my pet peeves surface. Engaged and taken
men need to wear something too.
Whatever caused the decline in pinning?
I spent an hour of my evening talking to someone unavailable and as a
single woman I just don’t have the time to waste with someone who is
taken, when someone who is not is 3-feet away.
I mentioned this to my roommate and she confessed she looks for a
wedding ring automatically. She said it’s an impulse and she does it even
if she isn’t interested in the guy.
I propose that if you aren’t looking for a mate, then don’t act like you
are. Wear a neon-flashing sign, a ring or the ’50’s-style pin. Have something
that says, “Sorry, but you missed my availability years ago.”
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy my nights out just talking and meeting
new people. In fact, it’s rare that I have the time or interest in extending
myself for the cause of a non-existent relationship. I am not constantly on
the prowl.
But, I find it pointless and bothersome for someone to seemingly flirt
with me, when they are attached.
More so, I think it is quite unattractive to say things to another person
that they wouldn’t say in front of their significant-other. If the “Mrs.” was
around, would you be saying that to me?
This weekend when I am out with friends, I resolve to have a good time
and leave the flirting to those who are better at it than me. But I can’t make
any promises about not looking at their hands.