Hey. For those of you who are new to the column, The
Centurion or Bucks, welcome. Here’s a little about me and
maybe my charm can keep you reading.
I’m the big boss here at the student newspaper and this
comes along with 50-some hours of work a week, including
some unfortunate Saturdays. I think about this place most of
the time, which should give you a little insight into my lack of
social life. I love every minute of it and complain about it most
of the time.
I began this column a year ago when I took over the paper
from being Op/Ed editor and I have to say that writing this is
the highlight to putting it all together. And I complain about it
most of the time.
“A Modern Hypocrisy,” great title right? It’s the name of my
blog and something I thought of for some reason years ago. Its
title is near and dear to my heart.
I believe in the hypocrisy of our everyday lives as a part of
the human nature. The people around us, the world in which
we live and the irony inside us, all put our respective feet in
our respective mouths (unless you’re into that kind of thing)
on a regular basis.
As one with an outstanding A-type personality and an opinion
on everything, this happens to me a little more than the
layman. It’s a risk I’m willing to take in order to learn life the
hard way. My mother always said I march to the beat of my
own drum, which is a nice way to say I’m weird. I’m the
coolest non-cool person you’ll ever meet. Hearing that I’m
“quirky” is now received as a compliment. I get that I’m
funny, smart and I’m just going to throw in there attractive.
Just saying.
I’m a humanist by any sort of religious title, meaning I’m in
awe of every characteristic of man, even the bad ones. I think
of it as a phenomenon of science and sometimes I sit in wonderment,
even without being drunk, of human nature. I live
morally, not because anyone told me to, even my mom, but
because anything less than perfection would eat away at me. If
I lie, I wouldn’t sleep for a week. I’ve never stolen anything of
value other than paper office supplies. I’ve never damaged
property and left without leaving a note…with my real information.
One might think that I get pretty high-and-mighty on
myself, and I do everything in my power to make it look like
that, but in all honesty I’m as insecure as anyone else. My confidence
is a facade and my wall. I have a ton of pseudo-friends
and very few that know me well.
I hate people not liking me to the point that I go out of my
way to please others at any cost to myself. If I think someone
might not like me, I accost them and begin an unwanted (and
probably unwonted) conversation in order to prove my awesomeness.
I seek approval from a collection of father-figures and peers.
I create a sense of emergency in order to work myself under
constant stress, not because I like to make a big deal out of
things, but because I function better that way.
I want to sail around the world although I don’t think I’d like
boating and if I could buy anything I wanted I would purchase
a third-world island to rule with an iron fist. If I could choose
how to die, it would be skydiving naked with my hair on fire.
I am two-years in remission from cancer, which is something
that I don’t mind talking about and never realize how others
are really uncomfortable with the conversation. I’ve been told
that guys wouldn’t be interested in dating someone who’s
gone through that whole deal, and so far it has proven to be
true. What dicks.
I love punk rock and comedies. I haven’t had television in
almost three years. My cat’s name is Kirra, a name he had when
I inherited him. For the first three months of his life, my former
roommate and I thought he was a girl which I’m confident that it
has led to a gender-confusion issue in his little kitty brain.
I’m quite uncomfortable in most social situations, including
public speaking, and I need to do these things on a regular basis.
When I’m alone I revel in it and can go back to being a naturally
shy person. It’s one of the very few times you’ll find me not talking,
including sleep. I talk to deal with my nervousness.
You’ll get to know me a lot better as the semester continues and
I go into depth about Life, the Universe and Everything. Enjoy.