Dear lady at my register
last week,
When you talk to someone,
it’s great to share a common
interest.
If the chat ever turns sour,
you can rely on speaking
about that shared interest.
So when you were in line
behind that crazy guy trying
to return an $80 pre-bought
damaged book for store credit,
when our policy is even
exchange, you smiled when I
smiled my “I’m sorry and let
me get a manager for you.”
You work customer service
at Sesame Place, and I’m sure
you have your cherries there;
I see the people that hustle
across the street to and fro
the lot and park. ]
I don’t doubt that people
went to insane extents to
make sure you knew their
issue was utterly your fault
and problem.
Such is the business.
My thing is to wash my
hands of any ridiculous customer
that thinks they are
the reason my top-earning
employer is in business.
And, I have plenty to small
talk with customers, idle chat
about books and weather
while I zap their purchases
under my scanner.
But, when you chose to list
every horrible patron of the
park you have encountered
since 1996, after your transaction
was complete, I was
helpless to the line behind
you and found myself in the
only position a happy
employee could do.
Smile and nod and zone
out to the bookmark rack I
can see in front of me.
The guy that threw a locker
key at your face and it cut
you. I like the green-colored
one with the planets on it
and a cool saying. The guy
that leapt across the counter
to grab your shirt. I should
really put that on hold for
when I have a spare $3. And
my favorite, the guy who
said his wife’s current state
of pregnancy should be
counted as a disability so
that he and his children, sans
pregnant wife, could skip the
lines. The bookplates are
cool too, but I don’t think
they would be practical.
Your list continued. Etal and
etcetera.
When the Queen Mother is
finished talking to you she
takes one step back.
In America, this would be
too subtle for another to
notice, and it’s a little hoitytoity.
I think for etiquette sake,
and this will work at cocktail
parties and the like, that
when you meet someone
with a common interest, to
exchange one story, thought
or opinion and only continue
on the matter if you feel a
sense that the other person
wishes to continue.
Next time, grab on to the
fact that yes, that guy was
insane and not the first to
come in and make a fuss
until he got what he wanted,
like a child in fists and
stamping feet on the floor,
but it’s not worth the history
of each similar annoying person.
Thanks,
Laura