I haven’t had television in almost three years.
It’s not something I mention as a braggart, I’m not proud of
not having cable, I just don’t.
I always need to clarify this: I own a TV and a DVD player,
but if you turn the TV on without having the DVD player on,
you will see I receive nothing but white noise. No basic channels,
no scrambled channels. Nothing. I call this television and
not just cable because I don’t get a thing and I associate cable
with a minimum of one station.
I wish I could watch the World Series without getting
boozed at the bar or have friends text me scores. I have no
excuse to not watch on a night I’m not working, but Sunday
night has never been a big drinking night for me.
I’m dying. I love baseball. I love keeping score.
Some people have rather strong opinions on baseball-it’s
boring or minimally physical-but I think it’s awesome.
My family is a big baseball family. I would be disowned if I
didn’t know the basic stats, and my dad can ramble off details
on any team, 1920 to current.
I’ve always said there are three categories of men: the fix-it
guy, the sports guy and the arty guy.
Give me the sports guy.
So I take up multiple hobbies and indulge in Blockbuster
rentals.
I joined that Blockbuster online thing for the minimal package;
$4.99 a month for one movie at a time, and returning that
movie for one free exchange a month. For those unfamiliar
with the program, instead of mailing the movie back you can
take it to the store and exchange it for another movie.
Depending on the package, your exchange is either free or discounted.
As well, their new free store card allows you buy one, get
one for non-new releases on Monday through Wednesday.
This has allowed me to rip through “House,” “30 Rock,” and
currently, “Six Feet Under.”
Aside from music and occasional “meows,” TV noise is
something I can have on in the background to keep me company.
As far as hobbies go, it’s my favorite time of year. I am a
crazy pumpkin cutter. My jack-o-lanterns are fabulous. Last
year’s pumpkin is on the bottom of page 11. It’s a cannibal
pumpkin.
This year, I plan on doing a zombie pumpkin.
“Boo pumpkins” are the white ones. I plan on taking two, a
head and torso, and spilling some pumpkin guts from the
head and stomach and bruising some areas of the “face.”
I will use full-cutting techniques to cut out the important features,
like the eyes and mouth and cracked “skull.”
I will peel the rind to have hanging flaps of “skin” and minor
imperfections.
I don’t have a lot of time on my hands. I’m fretting about
when I am going to do this. I haven’t bought the pumpkins as
of yet, but carving a pumpkin sooner than a day or two before
Halloween will leave your pumpkin looking wrinkly and
moldy by the time Halloween night arrives.
As well, I will be taking black, bumpy gourds and sliding bat
wings and fangs into them, finally hanging them from the roof
of my porch.
I have an annual porch party on Halloween. People come
over, dressed up or not, with alcohol and we give out candy to
kids. This may sound odd, but in Newtown Borough, kids
travel in wagons from house to house straddling cases of beer.
It’s social and towny and I take advantage of the casualness,
throw in some space heaters and try not to have everyone get
so drunk they eat the kids’ candy..
But, I go nuts when it comes to crafty things. I’ve never been
an amazing artist. I paint on glass windows and I enjoy letter
writing in Old English Script. I write, which I consider an art.
But, my vast nerdiness has never enabled me to produce
excellent sketches. I am an adequate piano player, but for
someone who wishes they were more right-brained, my tendencies
are left-brained.
So, being a creative pumpkin carver is my outlet for the lack
of fine art skills, but I would have loved to see the Phils knockout
10 homers.