Day 36: Recycling On
Gangulon
It hadn’t been four Gargatic
Moons since my crash landing
and I had temporarily set
up camp in the Gangulon
colony of Smarkmenian.
Since my near-fatal ejection
from the cockpit of my Warp
Speeder I had lived on this
strange planet of Gangulon 7
in complete and utter hopeless
fear. The natives had
been savage to my apparent
disruption of daily life on
their precious planet, and for
good reason. The explosion
my speeder caused had killed
500 Gangulonians and
wounded hundreds more.
They looked at me with complete
contempt and I had not
known why until their leader
kindly approached me and
told me the news. I was
shocked and disheartened at
the revelation, but it would
not bring my resolve down.
Was it possible that these
creatures were evil by nature?
Would they be able to plant
their infant seedlings in my
belly without my knowing?
Could they read my mind
and also my earthling language?
Was it also possible
that I remembered to pack
my favorite juice box from
earth? This was very important
to me but I later found
out that nothing survived the
giant explosion, not even my
Hawaiian Punch.
I quickly shook the shock of
not retaining my juice boxes
of choice and set up shop in
my new home. As this planet
was millions of light years
from earth, I had little to no
chance of returning. I thought
of the better things of earth:
the soy lattes, the horse racing,
the knitting machines,
the automated bank tellers,
and the smelly trash heaps.
All of this I longed to return
to.
I had thought of the systems
of trash heap removal
on earth and the many filth
infested barges and garbage
dumps and how much more
efficient this was than having
seven of the largest and most
worthless Gangulonians
swallow the debris and then
let this digest in their
Tortockugorts (the equivalent
to human stomachs), and
thus, create a odorless and
soundless massive explosion.
I later approached upper
Gangulon hierarchy with a
suggestion that would help to
save the lives of the laziest of
their race while also reducing
the Gangulonian suicide
rates. I approached the ruler
of Gangulon 7, Dando The
Great, with the suggestion of
recycling.