Joe O’Neill stood at the podium and briefly scanned the audience of about 50 faculty, students, and community members, a tentative smile flickering across his face. He turned and steadily met the supportive gaze of the man standing next to him, his civil union partner, Tom Demi.

The smile broadened, his shoulders straightened. He turned to the audience and in a quiet, matter-of-fact tone, O’Neill summed up his reason for “coming out of the closet” and living as a gay man after nearly 40 years. “No one wants to go through the world alone,” he said.

O’Neill and Demi spoke at the “Forum for Equality – Voices for Change” held in the Fireside Lounge, Tuesday, Feb. 15. The event, hosted by the Open Door Club, sought to educate the public on issues of equality and civil rights for same-sex couples. Club officer, Shawn McCreary moderated the event.

Demi said the two met on a sunny afternoon in New Hope in 1999 and have been together since. They cemented their relationship in a civil union ceremony in Vermont, the only state allowing such unions, on Aug. 2, 2003.

Expounding on what prompted his decision to be open about his homosexuality, O’Neill said he was tired of pretending. “I was born this way,” he said. “How do you walk through life lying all the time?”

Of the decision to seek a civil union, an event he described as empowering, O’Neill said, “I wanted that pursuit of happiness to belong to me.”

Demi said their life since the ceremony, as far as public reaction has been concerned, has been “surprisingly uneventful.” He said, “neighbors were very accepting and families posed no big obstacle.”

Lee Carpenter, a lawyer working for The Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights in Philadelphia addressed the audience on legal and civil rights issues facing same-sex couples.

She gave a short history of the same-sex marriage movement, which she said began as a legal rights and benefits movement in the ’70s and ’80s. In 2000, Vermont approved civil unions and in May 2004, Massachusetts gave same-sex couples the legal right to marry.

Carpenter explained that the Vermont and Massachusetts statutes have legal standing only for couples living in those states as a result of the 1996 Federal Defense of Marriage Act, which allowed states to reject same-sex unions sanctioned by other states.

Carpenter advised same-sex couples on how to protect themselves and their partners in Pennsylvania, encouraging them to set up wills and a power-of-attorney for both financial and medical matters.

She said the coalition provides those services. Their web address is www.center4civilrights.org.

Carpenter explained that the push for same-sex unions is not meant to attack religious beliefs. “There is a huge difference between going to church and going to city hall – laws will not affect religions. It’s about civil rights and benefits.”

The forum was part of a series of events, centered around Valentine’s Day, to raise awareness of same-sex marriage and civil rights issues. Earlier, the Open Door Club sponsored “Kisses for Equality”, selling Hershey Kiss rosebuds to raise money to cover the cost of the events.

On Valentine’s Day they held a mock wedding involving one heterosexual, one gay, and one lesbian “couple.”

Security was in place to prevent any problems since the audience was comprised of people from both sides of the controversial issue.

Christopher Lloyd, director of the security and safety office, said, “You never know if there will be a problem. We’re hoping for none.” He explained, “This is an open forum. We’re not here to stifle appropriate debate and discourse.”

There were no problems. Though opinions varied widely, dialogue remained civil.

Mark Houck, a Horsham resident and member of Generation Life, a group advocating chastity in all relationships and traditional marriage, engaged O’Neill several times in a spirited discussion during the question/answer period.

He said after the forum, “Being a homosexual is not wrong – acting on it is.” He stressed, “We reach out to those in the struggle.”

Aminda Jennings, another Generation Life member, added, “We condemn the sin, not the sinner.”

Nick Gorman, 18, of Bensalem, a nursing major said, “I hope this week will make people realize we are not outcasts in society and they can’t hate us because we’re gay.”