Since the Ancient Egyptians
and Sumerians, worms have
been regarded in literary lore as
being worshiped as knowledgeable
and surprisingly well-read.
In the Bucks library, this may
have been taken a little too literally.
Recent influxes of delicious
treats for the common earthworm,
such as rarely read books
and now defunct magazines,
have created a sort of haven that
only insect enthusiasts could
love. Disgusted and bewildered
students have been startled to
find the creepy crawlers infesting
large sections of the library
and have been reported in many
areas of the stacks, from 101.3 all
the way to 156.8 in the Dewey
Decimal system.
What could have caused such
an intriguing jump in the worm
populace? “It has to be the
amount of apples lying around!”
said student Chris Johnson, who
promptly
pointed to a rotten apple lying
on the ground with a giant worm
wrapped around its rotten core.
“Some students are savages!”
The worm infestation so startled
Laura Irwin that while
researching linear equations, she
tumbled
over the shelves in which
the books were encased, and created
a domino effect with a
sound explosion that radiated
throughout the entire library and
caused her “huge levels of
embarrassment,” as she herself
would
later report. The shelves had to
be replaced and order had to be
restored.
“The books took 50 man hours
to replace in proper Dewey
Decimal order. The damage that Irwin
inflicted was irrevocable,” a high-ranking library official would later state in a press release.
Although the worms don’t seem to be leaving anytime soon, students have grown increasingly
annoyed. “They are too loud for a library. I don’t know where they have learned their manners, but their
library etiquette needs work. Often times when I go to sit down, the chair I had thought was calmly awaiting
my seating had been pulled out from under me. The worms are nuisances,” said Eric Nocito.
Another student agreed with the worms’ inability to be considerate of others. When David Nonini
asked, “Is it so hard to say please? Often times I have been reading a medical journal or something of high
significance when it is stolen out from under my nose. The level of frustration is quite high, indeed,” he
said.
Other students, more specifically animal lovers, have met kindly with the influx of worms. “I love the
company,” said one student. “I can also be called a ‘book worm’ and not feel emotionally hurt.”
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Whether the college hires an exterminator to eradicate the worms, or appoints one among the worms as the
newest president of the college, is up for debate. What is for sure is that the library is definitely going to the
worms.