Safety and Security Director Chris Lloyd admitted to disliking
chocolate the other day when asked if he had any vices.
“I don’t smoke or drink or gamble,” said the saintly Lloyd.
But, then out of nowhere, he admitted to a life-long distrust of
chocolate.
“I just think it’s out to get me, possibly make me fat,” he
said.
An avid runner, Lloyd has created an entire world around
avoiding the sweet treat beloved by every human on the planet.
Does this mean Lloyd is an alien?
Assistant Director Mark Moore said that is a definate possibility.
“I mean, who doesn’t like such delicious human treats
such as this chocolate you speak of?”
Moore than took off his ear and scratched a patchy, scaley
area of green skin.
He continued, “I think anyone who doesn’t like this Earthly
dessert is suspicious, and as Captain of the Omega One…I
mean…Assistant Director of Safety and Security, I know suspicious.”
Lloyd refused to comment further, citing the investigation as
“silly,” “unnecesary” and a “waste of valuable Earth time.”
More to come as details unravel.