Rob Zombie is at it again. And
by at it again, I mean directing another
horrible “Halloween”
movie. So many things are disappointing
this time around, but the
most disappointing thing of all is
that it isn’t even Halloween. This
movie is neither a trick, nor a
treat.
For fans of the original “Halloween,”
directed by John Carpenter,
this remake will be a waste
of time.
The movie starts off at the end
of the first movie, where Michael
Myers escapes from being shot in
the head. Laurie is taken to the
hospital, where she has to escape
from Myers again. The story
jumps to a few years later when
the nice and clean Laurie Strode
(Scout Taylor Compton) is suddenly
white trash. Sound like a
Zombie film yet?
The movie takes after Zombie’s
two other films, “House of 1000
Corpses” and “Devil’s Rejects,”
which included very white trashy
characters. The original setting of
Haddonfield was a little town full
of middle class Americans. But in
this sequel, it appeared as if everyone
was a redneck, even the main
character, Laurie. With the gritty
characters it is hard to take the
film seriously.
Don’t get me wrong. “House of
1000 Corpses” and “Devil’s Rejects”
gave a dirty, creepy feel,
that worked well with the fan
base. But to take a classic like
“Halloween,” one of the best
movies ever, and try to warp it
into one of your own dirty, trashy
movies is just plain rude.
The scenes in the movie are
non-climactic and not scary at all.
The over the top, brutal death
scenes look cool, but took away
from the creepiness and mystique
of the movie. One thing that
many enjoyed about the original is
how the death scenes were always
cat and mouse, where Michael
could jump out of nowhere and
scare the hell out of you. This
time around he just manhandles
the characters because he is a 400-
pound freak.
Starting off, Michael Myers
wins the 2009 National Bodybuilding
Competition for being
able to bench 1,000 pounds. They
never really explain why he is a
giant in this movie. How did they
get that huge being locked up in a
mental institution? By far the
worst part of the movie is when
Michael flips a truck over. For the
people who will spend money to
see this movie, they will laugh at
the ridiculousness of this.
Another thing that is wrong with
the movie is the way Zombie handles
Dr. Loomis’ character, played
by Malcolm McDowell. In the
original movie, Loomis was portrayed
as a man with a heart and
some sense of morality. However,
this time around, Zombie makes
the character quite the jerk, who is
only out for money for his book
on Myers and is an easy-to-hate
character.
And finally, the main disappointment
about the movie is how
Zombie tries to shove in a background
story about why Michael
kills. Don’t bother asking how
he thought this was a good
idea, but this involves
his dead mother on a
white horse. The
whole “mommy
makes him kill”
addition to the
story takes away
the myth behind the
mask, and has been
used many times before.
After all, didn’t
Jason kill for his
mommy first? This also
leads to too many dream
and flashback sequences that
make the whole story confusing in
general.
After viewing this movie, I feel
that Zombie should stick to his
day job, which is doing a lot of
acid and writing metal music.
Zombie should stop doing remakes
and write his own stories
because a creepy, hillbilly murdering
family is good at least once
a year. I’d say please don’t destroy
anymore classics, but it’s
too late. Zombie has already
signed on to do the remake of the
classic “The Blob.”
The original “Halloween” has
been remembered for so many
years, because of the great storyline
and the fact that you didn’t
know what Michael was thinking,
just that he killed. Knowing that
in the remake sequel, his mother
on a white horse is controlling his
thought process, is silly.
Do yourself a favor this Halloween,
rent the original.